Today’s the day! Today is the first day in the new 18 month Erin Condren Life Planner. Even though this is my 3rd one, I still get planner paralysis. It’s so beautiful and new and full of possibilities.
I like getting the new 18 mo planner even if I have one that lasts through the end of this year because it becomes a mid year fresh start. What are my goals? Why do I have them? How am I doing with them?
I switched layouts from vertical (after 2 years!) to horizontal in an attempt to try something new, use my brain a different way, and see if it will work better for my busy life. Now I’m paralyzed. Afraid to do something “wrong” and mess it up. It’s totally silly. Time to get past the fear and love every bit of this planner, what it will help me do, what it will help me record, and the sanity it brings to momlife.
This week has been full of sadness and emotion after the 3 tragedies in Florida. Monday was spend laying around the super messy space that is our house, processing the great losses from the weekend and overwhelmed with making the house “presentable” for the impending grandparents visit. Then the alligator attack happened and I seriously wanted to curl up in a hole with my kids and stay there.
This week is also the anniversary of my fitness journey. My endocrinologist had told me in the spring of 2013 that I needed to change my lifestyle or I’d be back for insulin. It took me months to try new things only to abandon them a couple weeks later. Almost exactly 3 years ago this week a former coworker invited me to her challenge group to do a program I bought 10 years previous and had never used.
So I chart my progress based on this week. I’m a metrics girl who needs to see results, and the results I saw were not exciting. I’m up 10lbs from last year and the year before. That means I gained back 10lbs this year. Who wants a coach who’s gaining weight not maintaining or losing it? I said to myself.
We have a perspective in our house I call the “at least” clause. I say it a lot to the girls and this week, the week where I’ve been low and feeling sad, I see it coming out of my daughter. At least, Mommy, the rain feeds the flowers and gives us puddles to play in. At least the dog can eat what I spilled….
It’s been hard to talk to my kids about the tragedies, but at least:
We could have the conversation about bad people (the shooter) and good helping people (those who gave others the shirts off their backs and tied off wounds)
We could talk about staying close and listening. And being aware of your surroundings (alligator boy was too little to talk to about this)
We could talk about false senses of security (I’ve been on that beach at Disney and never would’ve dreamed there were alligators there)
We can learn to embrace sadness and feel a richer joy (like the movie Inside Out)
We have the perspective to look for the good and find things to be grateful for.
The antidote for sadness is gratefulness.
At least that’s what one of my best friends says her therapist says.
So as I lay here waiting for my liquid energy preworkout to kick in, I’m thinking about my own at least list in light of gaining back 10lbs:
At least it’s only 10
At least I’m still doing workouts almost every day (today will be day 55 in a row with no rest days, only recovery workouts and regular workouts)
At least I didn’t give up and gain more
At least I’m still fitting in my clothes from last year
At least I’m feeling good (minus the scale)
At least I have a team of friends around me who encourage me to keep doing my workouts and eating clean.
At least my husband is super supportive and reminds me muscle is denser than fat
At least it has become a lifestyle change. We all have down times and mess ups but it’s all about getting back to it and staying more on the wagon than off.
The “at least” clause has become a great thing for us. Find the blessing from God, the silver lining. Figure out the good.